Spring

Spring has sprung and unless something momentous our terribly irritating happens I am on spring break; not from my diet, just from blogging. I am back down 2.5 lbs and seriously considering purchasing a new scale because I truly think mine is rebelling from all the times it has held my overweight body! Stay strong, be blessed and Happy Spring!

Stress And Scones

Ever blink and a week had past? I weighed in Wednesday and was so aggravated, I couldn't even blog about it! Up 3 lbs! Seriously? Trying to remain calm and not turn aggravation into a binge...although after that, I made friends with a blueberry scone. The scone did not disappoint like my friend the scale but that kind of thinking is what helped get me here in the first place.

It HAS been a stressful week and I noticed that tends to make me go up or at the very least stay the same on the scale. First we had a tire blow while our daughter was driving alone, then that same daughter broke her foot while practicing for the Spring Musical, My dog got so ill he could hardly walk and I thought I was going to lose him, my other daughter's on again/off again boyfriend went into mean mode with her at school and she was pretty traumatized, then I got called in for an interview with a company I thought I was a little under qualified for (Shhh! Don't tell them I said that.) My understanding is stress causes cortisol levels to go up and that makes it harder to lose. What's weird about that is it seems like when you are young and stressed ...you tend to lose weight!

Spring break is here and my house is a wreck, so now I have to dig deep and get things back in order. Hmmm a blueberry scone sure sounds good right about now...

Rain

It is Monday and I slept in...I needed it, I stayed up to the wee hours of the morning searching sites that were hiring and sending out my résumé. I also had the joy of watching a horror movie on tv about people who wander into a town of wax to find that they will be the next on display! I am one of those people that has to see the end of a movie no matter how scary or stupid it is!

I forgot how demeaning it can feel to take all that time answering questions and sending out your resume to never even get a response and how patient you have to be when starting out. I am caught between a feeling of being blessed enough to not have an urgency at this time in finding employment to knowing that big house payments are around the corner and it would probably take some pressure off to have extra income coming in. It’s just like reading a writer so good, any prior pride you had in your work goes out the window. When I entered a humorist writing contest in February,
I just believed I was going to be discovered as the next "Erma Bombeck" turns out I am not the only one who thought this, I did not place and that's ok. A little disappointing ,but still ok

I have to remind myself that my value is not wrapped up in my resume or whether I have success writing or even the weight loss I am trying to achieve. I serve a God that was willing to sacrifice His only son for me. I am of value to my Creator. He is the one with a distinct purpose for me and His ways are not my ways . It could mean that I end up flipping burgers and laying down fries at the age of 42 but what ever I do I know I am supposed to do as unto the Glory of God.

There is something so wonderful about a storm and rain beating down on the roof. Just the sound of it can be calming, when I was a kid I would take my dog outside and the rain would come down on us and feel so refreshing and smell so good. No matter what was going on in my life it would help just to "be." Weigh in is Wednesday, we have been feeling pretty good with our food choices. I am learning to identify times when I am at risk such as.....I am very tired or just tired of cooking or when my daughters have friends over and we order pizza, ANY time during the beginning of the weekend seems to trigger something in all of us.

I really feel like going out in the rain today and washing away some of this excess baggage... Care to join me?

Numbers

I have been waiting for inspiration to strike, I really haven't been feeling to witty or comical. As I stated last blog, I have been having a bit of a RA flare, so much so I can’t seem to get going until around one in the afternoon due to fatigue and stiffness. It can be really frustrating to want to have the energy to do things and yet making a phone call or getting a shower seems like work. Probably time to make a visit to my friendly Rheumatologist and get labs done but the thought of another Doctor's appointment is also exhausting. There are so many things that can get pushed to the side like school work, tweaking my resume and preparing for our move this summer. One good thing is I am usually doing better by the time everyone is home and able to keep the house straight and cook dinner. There is something called Raynauds phenomenon that can accompany Rheumatoid Arthritis, it causes very cold fingers and feet that can turn white...cold feet can make it hard to fall asleep so I am feeling very sexy in my double socks!

On a happy note, I am down another 2lbs for a total of 15.5lbs and we are still on the Jorge Cruise plan and even though we are not losing as quickly as claimed, it still is working and our digestive systems feel so much better when we stick to the plan. It also makes for much easier planning of meals. My youngest daughter(Slim)commented this evening on how she actually LIKED my cooking! It seems I would really feel a difference, maybe because it is small amounts over time, I can't notice it as much but my new jeans are really baggy and my face does seem a bit smaller, my girls say they can tell I have lost. One thing I reminded myself of today is even though this plan does not call for exercising to lose weight, it is still essential to at least walk to keep a healthy heart and lower blood pressure. Honestly, I would hate to step on any scale other than mine though, if it was a negative outcome, I would get discouraged. I was thinking how much we rely on numbers to make us happy...numbers on the scale, numbers in our bank account, test scores, lab results, I am glad I serve a God that is bigger than any number!

Don't Want To Be A Debbie Downer

Disappointment visited briefly at my house this week and it was in the form of a 1.5 lb loss for me and 1 lb for my husband and daughter...in all fairness we do feel pretty good and there has been no belly bloat this week but the promise was 4 - 9 lbs and we were a little hungry sometimes. My husband also mentioned that cravings for certain food just weren't there and that is true as well, we were just hoping for bigger results on the scale. We are going to go for it another week and see what happens. Any loss is better than none and I hate when people whine about not losing what they wanted but I guess it is just the fact that this plan was endorsed to lose at least 4 if not more and there is also the feeling of we MUST be losing. You know how the contestants from Biggest Loser step on the scale an get upset at a 6 lb loss...that always drives me crazy and I start yelling at my TV (yes I am one of THOSE people) Anyway I am always like "What is wrong with you? Be happy!" I get it now ,they have trainers shouting at them all week and they live and breathe weight loss so they want the results promised to them. I have a total weight loss of 13.5 and I choose to be happy with that!

The weather for Spring is here and that has allowed more time to walk at the park and get some fun exercise. RA has decided to rear its ugly head these last 2 weeks in the form of extreme fatigue and even while I type I have to rest my elbow on my leg because it is painful to hold up. One thing about Rheumatoid Arthritis or anything chronic for that matter, is that it's always with you, and no one wants to tell friends or loved ones "Sorry, I don't feel well...again." I am most certain my children and my husband try to be kind about it but after awhile it gets old. You must take care of you in these situations ,only you know how your body feels and you have to listen to it and rest or exercise or take medicine etc. Be mindful that there are those out there with conditions that don't always show visible signs on the outside but that doesn't make it any less painful or frustrating for them.

You Don't Say...

It has been an interesting,LONG week... I decided to try a more tailored plan that I found while searching out low carb foods online. Jorge Cruise has a new plan for women over 40 with very, very, limited sugar, veggies, proteins and whole grain carbs ,you are supposed to be able to lose between 4 and 9 lbs a week and weigh in is Wednesday but here is the kicker, my daughter wanted to lose weight for graduation and my husband thought he needed to lose a few, so they decided to follow along and I am not going to lie... it did make things 100 times easier, to plan meals, easier to stay on track. We started last Wednesday and one of the best results we have is physically feeling better, especially any chronic tummy problems we usually deal with. There were days we wanted to cheat and days we were really hungry but for the most part we have stayed on track and our grocery bill has been cheaper due to not eating out. My little Skinny Minnie pretty much ate her usual...whatever she wanted! I think my favorite comments of the week came first from my hubby when he picked up McDonalds for Slim and said he never realized how hard it was to smell french fries and burgers without the option of eating it, especially while hungry. The second comment came from my graduate who did wonderfully ignoring a table of treats (cookies ,brownies, etc.) at an awards ceremony and later proclaimed, "You have no idea how hard that was Mom!" You don't say...Catch you up later this week on our actual losses.