Illumination

So I watched a movie about this kid stuck in an underground cave with few supplies. When his flashlight went out it was pitch black, he coudn't even see his hand in front of his face, after all, he was underground, in a cave, surrounded by cold water. Do you ever feel like this kid? As a person of faith I do. Our communities, our work environments, the entertainment industry, all seem to be making us use all our batteries in our flashlight. Trying to shine above all the crude sexual references, foul and I do mean the crudest of language, not to mention the pure selfish motives people seem to have. It used to be a rule to be polite, not an exception, when you mentioned having a "swear jar" in the workplace the manager thought is was a good idea, he/she did not curse you out and tell you it was their preogative to swear! People did not make it seem like it was an inconvience to say hello or they were too tired to put an effort into asking how you were. Who would of thought just by showing common courtesy we would be sharing Christ? Sometimes being that rare little light can wear you down and you can't see your hand in front of your face. The kid could have given up but he kept hearing his fathers advice in his head and remembered his Dad had given him a little bone necklace that lit up when you held it. He got just enough light so he could make it to the end... a large well lit area to swim out of the cave into a beautiful blue sky full of tall green trees and singing birds. Thankfully we can follow our Father through the dark caverns of life. Honestly, sometimes it just seems easier NOT to shine and it can be exhausting in such dark places but I believe we can draw strenghth and triumphantly move toward a bigger illumination and hopefully some other cave dwellers will be attracted to our light and follow us out!

Wait, What Year Is This?

So, it has been over a year since I started this endeavor and I haven't blogged in quite awhile. I am not sure if it is beacause in terms of weight loss I have made little progress or I am just tired of talking about the subject that is always "literally" on my plate...pun intended. I have made some small strides in behaviors and I am still in the game, just a little battle weary. So in an effort to get back into my blogging I am going to start talking about other life issues, since there are so many other places my "Cosmic Bus" takes me. Hop on board and let's see where we can go!

Bus Pass

Uninspired is how I feel as of late and it is probably why I am not blogging. I started this to help myself and found with great joy it was helping others, I want to come to you with overwhelming numbers and tell you how great I am feeling, alas, still on the long journey but haven't yet arrived. Health issues keep knocking and I keep trying to send them packing. On the upside I was so happy to talk to a friend and reader and hear how well she was doing and to see pictures of her improvements. There are some small milestones for me, cholesterol is better, I don't get tired as fast and I have done well on my long days on my new job which I still love, love, love. I just wish my paycheck would love me as much! I see so many cool dogs and cats that come in and happy animals always make me feel better!
Big life changes with my youngest starting high school and my middle one starting college. I have been missing my oldest who lives in another state. Life always seems to be moving at the speed of light and if you are not careful you just might miss your Cosmic Bus or be flattened by it!
So ring the bell faithful friends, I've still got my teeth, my nose is just a little bloody and I am going in for another round!

Loser

Well I did not fall off the planet, just the blog for awhile.Major life changes.All good...all time consuming! I started this weight loss adventure in January and since then I have lost about 17lbs with PLENTY more to go. I have been on at least 3 different plans throughout this time period.For the past 12 weeks my daughter and I have been attending a spiritual based health program called "First Place" it has really been helpful and we have been exercising as a group and supporting each other,our next thirteen week session is coming up.Every so often I will let my self relax and then I have to put myself in check,I am finding this kind of venture really takes faith, patience and the big D...discipline.On this program you make healthy choices,count calories,exercise and particpate in a daily bible study and weekly meetings with the thought being that the main element missing weight loss is incorporating God and scripture. I am feeling better with more energy and enjoying my job,still losing...very slowly but still losing!

Information Overload

It seems like every time you pick up a magazine, go to the bookstore or turn on the TV, someone is talking about the latest greatest way to lose weight. There will be promises of "new" breakthroughs or eating whatever you want, with testimonials by people who swear this is the only program that ever worked for them. Here is just few examples of how they all can contradict on another and confuse us...

Atkins = fruit, bread, sugar, potatos, bad. Fat,protein,good. Fat Smash = Fruit, all you want, yogurt, oatmeal, good! Susan Powter = Eat what you want like a big stack of pancakes with syrup just forgo the butter, very low fat, sugar ok. Gorge Cruise = fruit yogurt, bad, burger fries, good,very low sugar. Carb Addicts diet = eat whatever you like, potatos ,fruit, pasta ,dessert but fit it in only one hour of your day the rest of the day is salad, protein and diet soda. Gwen Shamblin's Weigh Down Workshop = eat whatever you would like only when you are truly hungry, pray through when you are not! Cabbage Soup diet = self explanatory plus a lot of gas! Some say watch only your fat, some say only your calories, others say get all of your food groups in, exercise till you drop, just walk, exercise is not necessary. Drinking 8 glasses of water a day is one most agree on, although I am sure I heard recently that is starting to be disputed! Only organic is also very popular right now. This is just the tip of the iceberg and some of these diets may have changed since I did them. There are thousands more to go ..based on body type, blood type, age ,hormones etc. Is it any wonder I can't decide what exactly to do? I can tell you that all of these have worked to some degree for me, probably because no matter what, you are eliminating something to cause a deficit in calories, some work faster than others but usually those are the one that the weight comes back on pretty fast with a little more tacked on. Oh, I forgot glycemic index foods like brown rice versus white, sweet potatos versus white potatoes and how about vegetarian? Does anyone have a headache yet? I kid you not... a bunch of hair just fell out of my head! Bald AND fat is the look most of us 40 something women pull off so well!

Put One Foot In Front Of The Other...

So it's my day off and I just don't want to step on the scale. It seems like I am seeing the same results...up 3... down 2,down 2... up 1 and I know it's my fault, behaving through the week and then loosening up on the weekend. Looks like I am not going to see an 8 lb weight loss like I planned this week.(Shocker right?)

I have a cool job and I am really enjoying it so far, it is as a Receptionist for a Pet kennel in an arty community near the water and I am a big animal lover along with being a people person so I am really blessed. I have talked about my health issues throughout this blog but some things I kept to myself because they are pretty personal and in fact are part of what make me change and try to refine my diet often. Two disorders that I have problems with effect my bladder and bowel function and what I eat and drink can make the symptoms worse or better, so a lot of times what is suggested as good for weight loss, is not actually good for these conditions. Take coffee for instance a low calorie treat that is actually good for you in many ways but the acidic content can cause problems at times, as well as citrus, yogurt, artificial sweeteners and chocolate, the times I eat can effect whether I am going to have tummy problems and of course drinking much of anything can cause a lot of issues for the bladder. Stress, nerves,(getting nervous about getting nervous) new things, good or bad, can wreak havoc on my immune system. As you can imagine, starting a new job even a fun one, has presented some challenges with this. My very first day I had such bad stomach problems due to nerves, I was in fact late... I chose to just be honest I basically just called and said I was so excited about the job, I got a little sick to my stomach and I was on the way. What else could I do? Luckily, my boss is really mellow and seemed ok with it, though a hundred different imaginary conversation scenarios between her and the co owner ran through my head about the new girl they had hired but I just dismissed them to my over active imagination. This is me ...this is who I am, it’s not who I want to be, it’s pretty embarrassing and a big pain but there must be a reason. Once again this calls for a diet change, one that I know to some is not considered that healthy but unless you have walked in my shoes... So this is what I have to do... lots of a pro biotic supplement, a small probiotic yogurt, peppermint tea,water,a few nuts throughout the day and a low calorie protein shake and banana equaling about 470 calories and then pretty much a normal sized dinner and dessert and coffee. My calorie limit to lose is supposed to be around 1900 so I am going to try to keep in mind calorie counts for dinner and not go under 1200 or over 1900.Do I get hungry and fuzzy throughout the day? Yes! But do I want to spend my work day camped out in the bathroom? NO! Sorry if this is TMI but quite frankly it is just another element of life for me and many others and learning how to deal. Soooo, my stomach has been on good behavior and I just can't imagine with the cut back in calories NOT losing, now as I adjust to working, I will add exercise and my goal is just 15 minutes a day of some sort of concentrated movement, doesn’t sound like much but it's more than I am doing at the present time!

This has become rather long, drawn out and definitely not amusing, so I am going to bid adieu. I have already picked my next topic and it's going to be about the information we are overloaded with concerning dieting and how they all seem to conflict and drive us crazy! Until then I am going to just keep trying, you never know when a victory could be right around the corner as I heard a recent speaker say(Joel Olsteen) and if you don't put one foot in front of the other. You won't arrive!

Victories

So I am four months into this process and I am going to take a victory wherever I can find one. I would have hoped for more of a loss by now but I can say I am learning what works for me and saying no to foods that used to be my friend has not been so hard. I walked a mile with my dogs yesterday and didn't even realize it...Victory one! Pizza dinner at my church ...took my iced coffee and was fine without a slice, although I had to look at a beautiful piece of cake for an hour as the meeting progressed, it was set right in front of me and the only reason I did not move it is I thought the person next to me was going to eat it, the important thing is... I didn't...Victory 2! Going to the Doctors weighing in and actually seeing a loss on THEIR scale...Victory 3! I also was blessed enough to snag a job which I start tomorrow, I am sure that will offer new challenges, so I am putting myself on alert and taking healthy snacks. Technically with "The Fat Smash Diet" you are only supposed to weigh in after the first 9 days and then you are supposed to lose up to 9 lbs but I was back down those yo yo 3 lbs that keep coming back when I last checked. I did keep a few foods from the last plan that really helped me to feel less deprived…iced coffee and a little bit of dark chocolate but I haven’t had any meat in a week and I am a little tired of lentils and beans but I’ll live.

I am breaking down the weight loss into smaller goals. There is a big function 13 days from now at my husbands work, so my goal is to lose 8lbs by then. For me, that is a pretty big goal considering it has taken me 4 months to lose 15. I have been watching "Ruby" on style network and she inspired me by losing 13lbs on an Aussie vacation. It has been suggested to me before that I should take things a little bit at a time so I don't get overwhelmed with such a big task.

My new job is a receptionist position so it requires me to be the "face" of the company and look and feel good so maybe that will help keep me in line as I pull away from stay home "Mom" mode and add to my wardrobe. Hope you can find some "Victories" in your life this week.