Faith Leaping

Now that I am exploring the writer in me, I am reading and watching things pertaining to this endeavor. Finding that many very famous writers are "angst" ridden is not very appealing. In light of J.D. Salinger's death and studying about him a bit and watching a movie on the poet Lord Byron . Hello? Can anyone say Edgar Allen Poe; I am finding notoriety may not always be a good thing. Then again, you want to be noticed as a writer, being noticed means being read and being read may lead to being published which may it turn lead to an income which would mean more writing! We Humans love a good drama soaked life don't we, the kind filled with torrid affairs and reclusive behavior to which we say "Ah she was just a tortured artist, too good for this world." That is not my intent here. I had my share of difficulties and injustices early on in life like many others I know and I may chose to expose those to be cathartic and to help others. I am thinking I am more a humorist, an Erma Bombeck type which brings me to this...a leap of faith. I was looking up information pertaining to Erma and the first site I found was looking for submissions, there is a writing contest for humorist type writers; the participant gets a little exposure, 100 bucks and free entrance into one of the weekend workshops. Coincidence? I think not. The thought came to mind I would use something from this blog but it has to be new, I will admit I went blank…writers block for about 10 minutes and then the floodgates opened. I don't know which was scarier but I think I choose blank. There is not much time, it closes on Sunday night. A deadline, you've got to love that. My heart is actually pounding a bit faster at the thought. That's good right?

Tune in Monday for an update on my health quest. As of this morning I am down another pound, I just had to get on the scale because I have been so (put your own version of a strong word for emphasis here!!) HUNGRY, sensitive and grouchy. Planning to drink more water and do some major grocery shopping…on a good note, my jeans are falling down!

You Don't Want To Know What I Would Do For A Klondike Bar!

I would like to tell you that Funky Monday turned into Terrific Tuesday but as you know I hate lies but I am finding a little melancholy makes for a lot of inspiration. When you are in a pit sometimes you must find something to pull yourself out, you may end up doing some soul searching in the process, soul searching I find, makes for good writing if you go deep enough but that's for another time, not for this blog, maybe you will see it on a bookstore shelf someday.

Something else happens when you feel a little funk, your guard can go down, in this case it's been my food guard but so far I am still fighting the good fight. My girls did not make it any easier by wanting McDonalds for dinner, when you are fighting the fight and HUNGRY a Big Mac and french fries does sound (and smell) really, really good, did I say really? One of the things I can do is remind myself of the benefits later, such as slipping that beautiful engagement ring back on my chubby little finger, new clothes, oh and of course avoiding a heart attack!

Funky Monday

Did you ever have one of those days where you know you shouldn't be in a bad mood but you are just the same, no real good reason? You are aware of just how good you have it but it seems like a little black cloud has chose you to follow around? It is Monday and that is where I am at. I sort of feel like Eeyore on his blustery day. I will admit, I am in some pain today and that can tend to pull a person down but if you allow that often when you have a chronic condition you may as well pull the covers over your head and stay there. I always remind myself of some amazing people I have met in my life, like one of the patients I worked with when I was a Chiropractic assistant. This patient had arthritis since she was a child, now an elderly adult with crippling effects, walking, signing her name or even taking off her sweater was a chore, yet she smiled and loved her way through it all. No amount of self talk about how ridiculous this"funkines" is and how blessed I am seems to be helping, hence I have decided to just go with it... maybe if I select a more appealing word they used years ago "melancholy" it will seem more appropriate. Although... I am down 2.5 more pounds! That makes a total of 10lbs since Jan 4th, so I do believe this will help me find my stride again by tomorrow.

It is with some anxiety I post this, because anyone who has ever lost weight can tell you it can come to a sudden stop or plateau or you could gain it back and this success just seems too good to be true but I will journey on because it IS working.

The goal for this week as I shake off this mood is to exercise consistently and add more fruit. I will not lie, a piece of chocolate cake sounds really good or big stack of pancakes but it will pass...it will pass like Funky Monday.

Very Funny, Newton!

It's been one of those weeks, I’m sure you have had them before. I had one hour, one glorious hour planned for lunch and computer time before time to pick up my daughter from school, that's when Newton decided he would send some fun my way. Just as I was going to sit down with my meal and hot tea,(from Starbucks of course) my liquid gold spilled all across the table (cue the dollar signs and the cha ching of the cash register.) while I was cleaning it up the phone rang, Could I pick up my daughter? she was ill. then the dog started scratching on the door ,I needed to take her out, on my way , I noticed the cat had yakked on the floor which leads me to now... I am sitting in a house in dire need of cleaning, with schoolwork to be done (I attend school online.)

Life has a way of being pretty amusing, if you don't look at it that way you might just go a little crazy. My dog is at the door again, my
husband is home early and my daughter just told me this blog is rather boring....isn't that just hilarious?(I ask with a slight twitch in one eye and a semi hysterical laugh.)

Give It

Just like we learned in Sunday school, I believe the giving principle works in weight loss. Remember what they taught us in gym class, you have to expand energy to get more? It turns out the dude with the fancy whistle and very little patience for the athletic impaired was right. I am finding I have a bit more energy now, a little pep in my step. It makes me wonder since I was diagnosed pre diabetic, maybe the extra sugars and carbs were making me tired as well. So back to my Sunday School theory, sometimes giving of ourselves results in more of a blessing then we expect, for example; teaching a class and watching that child grow in faith, or helping a young couple in their marriage may make you grateful for the blessings in your own relationship.

Losing weight takes sacrifice and discipline.Yesterday I was craving carbs and chocolate and believe me, temptation is always there,the local Starbucks put out chocolate chip cake samples right where you order,the audacity!My husband took me out to lunch at a local barbecue place and they were ever so excited to share their sugar laden sauces by bringing fresh fried potatos to the table to dip with(I passed) or what about the unknown corn bread they bring with the salad or when the church suggests bringing in donuts on Sunday mornings? I have found so far it is worth it to be strong,because the strength you are getting in return by regaining your health feels better.Exercise is the same,you may have to give up some(me) time to jump around but what you are really doing is adding more (me} time by adding years to your life.

Not Too Shabby

I guess adding a little (and I do mean a little) exercise and cutting out mucho Matcha made a difference....down another 5.5 with a total loss off 7.5. not too shabby! Last week I caculated how much I could lose if I lost 2 per week and if I lost this much every 2 weeks,that would of course be 15 per month,it would take about 8 months to reach goal. As long as I keep losing,that is the main goal.It's hard not to get ahead of myself though.Looking at the long run of it,after struggling 18 years,what's another year?

So I guess under all the stress,the plan is still working.No decisions yet about big life changes,still praying with everyone in our family who all seem to differ in opinion every hour about what we should do.I am sure the people in Haiti would love the dilemmas we have. My family is blessed and our challenges pale in comparison to the issues they are facing.I am aware how selfish blogging can sound when it is all about me and the challenges I face,there is a whole world out there hurting with real big problems,it is important to look in the mirror and remind yourself of that sometimes.

Change Is Good....Not Always Easy

Alright, I am just going to put it all out there in the blogsphere.The past year had been interesting,life changing,stressful and a whole other list of adjectives. Military life has it's share of ups and downs.The latest was an opportunity for my husband to serve in a really cool way, I would tell you [but then I would have to kill you.]It meant uprooting teenagers,one was a senior,selling a house,finding a new litany of doctors for our family,it meant being apart for six months,putting up with hormonal girls,letting my oldest venture out on his own and stay behind was on the roster too,along with being several hours from our own parents.Is it any wonder our family feels a little tender at this point?

Now it looks as if we are up for more changes and decisions,as we have 6 months left on our lease and we must decide whether to renew,buy a home in a very costly area (rent alone will cost us over $20,000 this year)or move where we intend to retire and purchase a home there for half the cost. Sounds like a no brainer but keep in mind it would mean moving at least one teenager (again) while the other plans to attend college here,along with living apart from my husband (again) as he finishes his job. Did I mention my 14 year old has a sweet boyfriend who could give Zac Efron a run for his money in the looks department and that he really helped her get through some of the effects of being a newbie? Top all this off with my new quest for health and well being and I am prone to cry if you say hello to me!

This is me.This is where I am. I guess this blog has helped with an epiphany in my life. I want to write for real,somehow make a possible living at it. It may mean some college courses,it may mean a whole college curriculum. I get such joy out of it and I have so many ideas,I just don't know quite where to go with them.I pulled out a bunch of my writers magazines and bought some new ones ,they tend to have interesting ideas.I have been like one of those puzzle shapes children have,where you put the matching shape in the correct hole, I don't think I have been getting it right.I am a dreamer,always have been,dreaming saw me through some really tough times as a kid but with dreams,you must do to accomplish anything,otherwise you will wake up and it will be over.Somewhere along the line I convinced myself I didn't have the intelligence or the resources or time.Finding pieces of myself is a big part I believe, in this journey of weight loss....